Bon Braper

I dedicate this post to the gracious folks at Netflix, who, despite a huge increase in their prices come September, have recently decided to make Mad Men available via Instant Streaming. I just hope Netflix never finds out how much they could really charge me for unlimited, instant-viewing of Jon Hamm...

Ian and I were big fans of the TV show Lost.

That’s a understatement.  We loved that show so much that we bought all six seasons on DVD; I got a Lost themed birthday cake last year; and we even invented our own Fantasy Lost game with a few friends for the final season where we drafted characters and assigned them points per episode.  We tearfully said goodbye to the Island in May 2010, but we still get goosebumps whenever we hear that Fray song used to promote Season 5. Even today I may sock you in the jaw if you tell me that "The Constant" is not the single best episode of television ever.  But I think we’re closing in on the fifth Kubler-Ross stage of grief, acceptance, because we’ve finally discovered a more-than-satisfying rebound:  Mad Men.

We ordered the first season on Netflix a month ago, and now we’re so infatuated with Mad Men that seeing the red square DVD envelope in our mailbox feels just like Christmas morning. As much as I like the storytelling, I enjoy the aesthetic of the 1960s the most: the colorful angualrity of the Sterling-Cooper office, the skinny black ties, the curve-hugging dresses, and Don Draper, the main character played by Jon Hamm.  Just typing his name makes me blush.

Ian likes the show, too, but Don annoys him. He agrees with me that Mr. Draper is a fine specimen of the male human form, but he gets frustrated by the general ennui and unhappiness that pervades most of the characters on the show.  Not able to empathize with those feelings, Ian decided to invent his own Mad Men character, Bon Braper:  

“Don Draper drinks bourbon and cognac; Bon Braper drinks Mountain Dew and Icees.  Don Draper sleeps around with lots of ladies to fill some kind of emotional void; Bon Braper stays home and watches Real Housewives of New York with his wife.  Don Draper watches brooding French movies in black and white; Bon Braper watches Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in 3-D.”

Best of all, Ian established a more upbeat alternative theme song for the show.  He has always been good at identifying musical themes - he even knew the melodies for each of the characters in Lost.  So whenever Mad Men gets too emotionally heavy for Ian’s tastes, he sings his Bon Braper theme. I'm sure you'll recognize it. It's the musical opposite of the Mad Men intro song - just click the links below and listen to the first few notes of each song.

The actual Mad Men Intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcRr-Fb5xQo

Bon Braper's Theme: http://youtu.be/NGFToiLtXro?t=1m20s

Mexican Pasta

A friend of mine brought over a Mexican pasta dish when we got together to watch the Bulls playoffs in late May.  It tasted great and provided some epicurean comfort during an otherwise anxiety-ridden event.  The Bulls lost to the Heat, and I mourned for Ian.  Honestly, though, I don’t care for basketball, which is mildly sacrilegious as a native Hoosier.  So I quietly celebrated the end of the season by looking up a recipe for Mexican pasta online. I’ve been tinkering with it ever since, and now it’s one of my go-to dishes.  It’s vegetarian (vegan if you nix the cheese), healthy, filling, and simple to make.  You can customize it easily by adding olives or jalapenos, etc.  I just made a big batch of it on Sunday, and took the picture above.

Mexican Pasta
1 pound of whole wheat rotini or seashell pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 onions, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 can sweet corn kernels
1 can black beans, drained
1 can peeled and diced tomatoes
1/4 cup salsa
1 package of taco seasoning mix to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
Cheese & hot sauce (optional)

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.
2. While pasta is cooking, heat olive oil over medium heat in a large skillet. Cook onions and pepper in oil until lightly browned, 10 minutes. Stir in corn and heat through. Stir in black beans, tomatoes, salsa, taco seasoning and salt and pepper and cook until thoroughly heated, 5 minutes.
3. Toss sauce with cooked pasta and serve.


I suggest topping it with cheese (or Daiya if you’re dairy sensitive) and hot sauce.  If you live in central Indiana, I recommend Local Folks Foods Smoked Red.  Store the rest in the fridge to re-heat later, and enjoy!

The Carnivore That Turned Me Into a Vegetarian

*I saw a T-shirt at the Indiana State Fair last year that said: "Vegetarian - Ancient trial slang for the village idiot who can't hunt." It offended me even though I'm pretty sure I had a pork burger in my hand at the time.  A few months later in Chicago, I encountered a vegetarian activist outside the El handing out brochures with photos of abused animals in factory farms. Way to cheer me up after a long day at work. But I know you and I aren't like those folks, right? We won't judge eat other for our personal food choices. So I hope you enjoy this post as just another one of my life stories...

When I wake up every morning, I adjust my blanket and reposition my floppy arms before slowly opening my sleepy eyes to see this:

That’s my dog, Teddy, giving me his “Good morning, time for breakfast!” stare.  He’s a 10-month-old, 105 pound Newfoundland puppy with a personality as cozy and huggable as his fluffy body.  And he wants me to let you know that he would love to meet you.

If he wasn’t a dog, his morning stare would creep me out.  It did initially: the first time he woke me up this way I found it so jarring that I jerked my head back onto Ian’s pillow because his huge head was only six inches away from my face.  Even today I never know if he’s been there for two minutes or two hours.

But now I look forward to seeing my Teddy Bear’s face first thing; it’s just a daily reminder of his immortal cuteness.  And, as a recovering omnivore, his stare reminds every morning me why I finally chose Vegetarianism in April 2011.

Before then, I had always called myself an “aspirational vegetarian.”  I had read lots of articles on the health benefits of plant-based diets and seen several documentaries on the ethical and environmental implications of the meat industry and had even gone through a few day/week-long stints of meatlessness since college.  But I shoved all that info behind my conscience whenever I stared at the delicious mushroom-swiss burger on Chili’s menu or smelled bacon crisping in the frying pan.  There’s no denying it: meat is tasty.

We adopted Teddy in December 2010, and four months later we saw Food, Inc.  All I’m going to say is that if you eat food in America, you should see this movie.  I don’t remember many of the facts or persuasive arguments in the film, but I remember seeing the image of a black cow standing in a stockyard.

Then I looked down at Teddy who was also watching the movie (he likes TV), and he looked back at me and smiled. That was it.  They looked too much alike.  I knew I’d no longer be able to eat a hamburger without seeing Teddy’s face in it.  So I’ve been a vegetarian for four months now.  I realize that doesn’t sound like much time, but it’s significant to me because I know it’s the real thing.  Having failed before, I know what it feels like to know you’re going to give up, and I don’t feel like that anymore.

So Teddy is the carnivore that finally made me a vegetarian.  Even though he eats meat and has his own environmental impact, he’s helping me improve my own ecological footprint, and he’s converted me in the most significant way.  You see, as much as I care about the environmental consequences of meat production, I couldn’t stop eating meat because it pollutes our water and deforests our land.  I stopped eating animals because I started loving one, and I can’t eat something I could love.